


A Decade of Summer

by myfleetingreverie



Category: Goyo: Ang Batang Heneral (2018), Heneral Luna (2015)
Genre: Angst, Band Fic, Childhood Friends, F/M, M/M, opm
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-02-05
Updated: 2019-02-05
Packaged: 2019-10-22 19:07:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,223
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/17668424
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/myfleetingreverie/pseuds/myfleetingreverie
Summary: Ilyong loved Goyo since Summer of '07Goyo just found out Summer of '17





	A Decade of Summer

**Author's Note:**

> inspired by a recent feeling of nostalgia :')

ILYONG

Summer 2007

“Subali't ngayon wala na. Ikaw ay lumayo na...” I listened to Goyo as he sang the all too popular song Jeepney while practicing with his guitar. “Shit. Ilyong di pa rin bumabalik sa dati yung boses ko. Sa linggo na yung band fest. Pesteng sipon 'to.” He growled, put away his guitar and laid on my bed.

“Eh kung tigilan mo kasi kakakain ng halo-halo ni Aling Hilaria.” I said, scoffing at him. I was on my desktop computer, burning a cd for Goyo which he will give to Remi as a gift. “Speaking of halo-halo tara kain tayo. Libre kita.”

“Kasasabi ko lang na tantanan mo na yung halo-halo eh. Feeling ko kaya gustong-gusto mo run tumambay kasi laging nandun si Remi at Dolores.” Goyo gave me a knowing smile.

Suddenly, our phones started ringing. Goyo's phone blasted Narda by Kamikazee while mine was a more subtle Kung Wala Ka by Hale. It was a GM (group message) from Julian.

> ELoW gUyz!
> 
> TeXt teXt taU
> 
> Julian_rockz \m/ Gm

 

“Di ko alam kung maaawa ba ko kay Kuya Julian o maiinis. Wala ba talaga syang makausap kaya panay-panay ang gm nya?” Goyo let out a cackle.

“Para lang naman kasi sa isang tao yang gm nya kaso di sya pinapansin.” he said. “Eh kasi naman 1st year lang kaya si Dolores, 4th year na si Kuya Julian.” I pointed out. “Tingin mo mapipigil nun si Kuya?”

Goyo stood and walked towards me. He gripped my shoulders, “Uy, ano na? Tapos mo na ba yan i burn?” “Teka, sandali na lang to.” I squirmed away from his grip. But he stoop down and stared at the monitor. I can already smell him with how close he is to me. His scent was unlike anybody else. I can't explain it. I knew he was wearing his favorite cologne that he shares with his older brother but even without it, I could easily distinguish his smell among others. I wonder if I he could do the same with mine.

“Nasama mo ba yung Jeepney dyan? Baka nakalimutan mo na naman gaya nung nakaraan.”

“Oo nga, nasama ko na.”

The cd was ejected, I took it and placed it inside an empty disc case. I handed Goyo his cd, “Oh ayan.”

He smiled and took it from my hand. “Salamat! Dabest ka talaga pare!”

_Ouch._ I appreciate his thanks but then again the last word stung. I sighed and returned his smile.

“Tara, libre kitang halo-halo” Goyo placed his arms over my shoulder as we went out of my room. I stared at the drops of moisture forming outside the glass of my halo-halo. I haven’t even touched the thing. Goyo left me and sat with Remedios and Dolores as per usual. I took out my phone and started composing a message to Andoy, one of my closest friends, who, despite our huge age gap is my confidant.

> Kumusta? :[

A few minutes passed and he replied,

> Iniwn k n nmn ni gagoyo?
> 
> Hindi naman, nasa harap ko lang siya. Grabe ka Andoy!
> 
> Tinetxt mo lng nman aq kpg di mo ksma yn e.. Bat k nagprmdam?
> 
> :< sorry na. Di na kita abalahin.
> 
> Ttamaan k skin pg nagkta tau kpg di ka 2migl Ilyong..ano bng prblma?

I don’t even know what to say to him. Andoy knows me so well I’m sure he already knew what’s up.

> Ilyong..alm q si goyo n nman yn.. Mtalino ka pwde b gmitin m nman yn pra d k n nsasaktan?

I lost count how many times I read Andoy’s reply. I couldn’t think of anything remotely acceptable as comeback for the harshness of his words. Because as harsh his words are, it’s also true. I was startled when Goyo called out to me.

“Ilyong! Hatid ko lang si Remi.” I nodded and forced myself to smile.

I walked towards home and decided to take the long route, to the lake where I usually spend most of my time during summer, and where I met Goyo a few years back. I saved him from drowning when he fell to the water trying to reach his paper boat. After the incident, as they say, the rest is history. I sat on the makeshift dock and watched as the sun settled down, Andoy’s voice echoing in my head. Sighing, I murmured to myself “Tama si Andoy, dapat siguro lumayo na ko kay Goyo.”

“Hoy sino kausap mo dyan?”

I turn my head towards the direction of the voice and found Goyo walking towards me. He sat beside me and asked again. “Wala. Sarili ko. Teka, kala ko ihahatid mo si Remi?” I told him.

“Oo nga, hinatid ko na sa kanila tapos binigay ko na yung cd. Tuwang-tuwa nga eh, nag promise pa sakin na manonood sya sa bandfest. Salamat talaga, Ilyong.” he nudged at my arm. I nodded and smiled. “Di ko alam gagawin ko kung wala ka. Swerte ko talaga sayo.”

“Ang drama mo rin talaga no.” I chuckled. “Sira, seryoso kase ko. O basta dapat nandun ka sa bandfest panoorin mo set namin ha. Magpapractice kami nila Enteng bukas kaya kita na lang tayo sa Linggo.” he stood and offered his hand, I took it and he pulled me up.

We walked back to the main road, side by side. The summer wind blew, it was warm and it brought the smell of ripe mangoes which were abundant every summer season. I looked up, the night sky was filled with stars. We were both quiet. I could feel my heart thumping. In my head, this is when I would pull him and tell him how much he means to me, not in the brotherly kind of way that he keeps on shoving my face but in a I-wanna-kiss-you-and-melt-in-your-arms kind of way. But all I can do is watch his stride, his profile, and relish the occasional touching of our skin when our arms would bump. I didn’t realize that we were in front of his house until he called to me.

“Uy, Ilyong. Dito na ko.” I looked at him,

“Sige.”

“Sa linggo ha! Wag na wag na di ka pupunta dadagukan kita.” he snickered.

“Oo na. Kulit mo rin eh.”

I wasn’t able to sleep that night. The words of Andoy and Goyo bickering inside my head. Sunday came and I wasn’t entirely sure if I wanted to go or not. I’m sure I don’t want to see Goyo singing for Remi but I don’t want to break my promise to him either. So before I could change my mind, I got up from my bed and changed to my Eraserheads shirt and black jeans. T

The bandfest was held in the open park in town. Everyone in my school and every kid my age was there. When I saw how dense the crowd is, I fought not to turn around and leave. I squeezed my way through the bodies towards the backstage. A barricade with two bouncers in front hovered above me. I told them my friend was playing but they didn’t allow me to get inside. I knew arguing with them was futile so I called Goyo. I was about to end the call when he picked up.

“He..llo! I-Il-yong! Na..ahcksa..” his reception wasn’t clear and it didn’t help that it was loud all around me.

I kept saying hello until the line went dead. I made my way at the far end on the right side of the stage and waited for his call. I climbed a scaffolding and sat on a height where I can see the backstage. I dialed his number but he wasn’t picking up. I waited and saw him went out of the tent where I presume performers were staying. I called to him but I was too far and I knew it was too noisy for him to hear me so I waved my hands. His eyes were searching and when he found what he’s looking for, it lit up. He was smiling from ear to ear as he approached Remi. He gave her an I.D and they both walked back to the tent. I stopped calling out to him and climbed down the scaffolding.

Suddenly, Andoy’s voice was back in my head. I clenched my fist until it hurts. I was awakened when I heard the first few guitar riffs and Goyo’s voice started echoing.

“Magandang gabi po sa inyo! Kami po ang Lakan, unang kanta po namin, Jeepney by Sponge Cola. I dedicate this song kay Remi. Hi!” The crowd hollered. “Sana po magustuhan nyo” he started strumming his guitar and began to sing.

It felt like I was punched in the gut. I thought I was going to throw up.

There was a reason I intentionally didn’t put that song on the CD he gave to Remi. The song held a special meaning to me. I was the first one to hear him play that song and we both sang to it for weeks. I wanted it to be OUR song. It was MY song for him but apparently, it was HIS song for her. I didn’t realize I was crying until a tear warmed my cheeks. I instantly wiped the tear away and made my way out of that place.

* * *

 

 

GOYO

Summer 2017

Summer 2007. That was the last time I saw Ilyong. I caught him walking away during our set. I wanted to call out to him but I was in the middle of the performance. I dialed his number after our set but his phone was out of coverage area. The next day, I came to his house and was surprised to know that he went to Manila to spend there the remaining days of summer. I tried to contact him; texted him and called him countless times. I sent him messages on Friendster, MySpace, Yahoo Messenger, but there wasn’t a single reply. I didn’t understand a single thing. I was hoping to get some answers when he returns after the summer break but I didn’t get any. He didn’t come back. Ten years later, I’m still clueless and I resent him for leaving just like that. Like our friendship didn’t matter, like I didn’t matter to him.

Now that he’s a few meters away from me, I am unnerved. I don’t know what to do. Should I casually come up to him and say “Hi Ilyong! Remember me? I’m the friend you ghosted 10 years ago. What’s up?” I looked at him, I could barely recognize him. His lanky figure from high school now gone. It was as if he was spending an adequate amount of time in the gym. The smallness in his features were now gone, replaced by a sharpness, almost intimidating look. Although his height didn’t change that much, he looked very different from the Ilyong I knew. He was wearing a dark button down short-sleeved shirt and tight jeans. He used to wear his hair longer than any guy I know but now, he was sporting a shorter do. He was wearing an I.D that says “ORGANIZER” and was talking to a girl with headphones and walkie talkie.

The Summer Music Fest was one of the most well attended event sponsored by the biggest telco in the country. It was my third time to attend the event to watch. I stopped playing after high school and focused on my studies. But it was my first time to see Ilyong here. He seemed to be busy and was glued to his phone as he walked to the booth where the booze are and asked for a bottle of beer. I inhaled and mustered all my strength as I walk towards him.

I cleared my throat before speaking “Ilyong.”

His face revealed the same shock I had when I saw him earlier. “Goyo?!” he said.

I nodded and grinned. I cannot tell if he was pleased to see me but I felt uneasy and so was him.

“Kumusta?” we both said.

“Ayos lang.” we chorused.

Despite the tensed atmosphere, we both chuckled.

“Pare, gusto ko sana makipagkwentuhan pero medyo busy ako.” he pointed at the I.D and said, “Kailangan ko lang i check kung okay na yung mga opening bands. See you around pare.”

I nodded but it felt that he was trying to avoid me. Maybe it was the couple of beers I’ve had or maybe I was pissed and wanted some answers so I blurted, “Ilyong, bakit? Gano ba kahirap mag explain?”

Ilyong looked startled and so was the people around us. They were looking at me, at us. He swallowed and inched closer “Goyo, wag ngayon. May trabaho ako. Pwede mamaya na lang?” His voice was low but stern.

I looked away and ran my fingers through my hair. “Pasensya na, Ilyong. Pero pwede ba puntahan mo ko mamaya. Dito lang ako, gusto lang talaga kita kausapin.” Ilyong sighed. “Wag dito. Kita mo yung gate dun sa may kaliwa? Medyo malayo na yun kaya tahimik na ng konti. Dun na lang tayo magkita mamaya.” before I could respond, he was already walking away.

I took another bottle of beer as the opening acts started playing. The night wore on. As dawn approaches, more mainstream bands started playing and more people got drunk. The final act was Sponge Cola. They played their current songs and people were joining them. It got so loud so I head to where Ilyong told me to meet him. It wasn’t as loud as where I was but I can still hear the band performing on stage. I took a swig from my bottle of beer when Ilyong came up to me.

“Goyo.” he called.

I looked at him and I could tell that he was nervous. I feel it too but I wasn’t going to let this go so I started, “Anong nangyari sayo? Bat bigla ka na lang nawala? Sampung taon! Iniwan mo best friend mo, gago!” I wasn’t able to withhold my ire.

“Kung may gago dito, ikaw yun Goyo!” Ilyong shot back. I was confused with what he said.

“Teka nga, ikaw na nga nawala nang parang bula ikaw pa galit? Ano ba ginawa ko sayo?”

“Yun na nga eh. Wala kang ginawa..”

“Alam mo bang ginawa ko lahat para lang ma contact ka? Ni minsan hindi ka nagreply sa mga messages ko. Kaya wag mo sabihing wala akong ginawa.”

“Alam mo, wala ring mangyayari dito. Hindi mo rin maiintindihan, Goyo. Mabuti pa kalimutan na lang natin na nagkita tayo ngayon tutal naman matagal na tayong di nagkikita, ituloy na lang natin na wala tayo sa buhay ng isa’t isa.”

“Putangina naman Ilyong! Don’t you think I deserve to know the truth? Pwede ba sabihin mo na lang.”

“O sige, gusto mo malaman yung totoo? Sasabihin ko sayo pero ipangako mo na hindi mo na ipapakita yang pagmumukha mo sakin. Ang totoo, wala kang kwentang tao, Goyo! Hindi mo deserve yung pagmamahal na binigay ko sayo noon. Oo, minahal kita kahit alam kong kaibigan lang tingin mo sakin. Di ko naman inaasahan na ibalik mo yung pagmamahal ko sa paraang gusto ko. Pero kahit kelan kasi hindi ko naramdaman na mahalaga ako sa’yo. Naaalala mo lang ako kapag may kailangan ka. Napagod na ko, Goyo. Nakakapagod kang mahalin. Kaya pwede ba, wag ka na ulit bumalik sa buhay ko. Pagkatapos ng gabing ‘to kalimutan na natin ang isa’t isa.”

I was left at a loss for words. Ilyong started walking away. I wanted to stop him but my head was spinning.

**_“Subalit ngayo’y wala na… Ikaw ay lumayo na…”_ **

The song resonated in my ears. It was the song he walked away to ten years ago and it was the same song he was walking away from me now.

The acid climbing up my throat was trying to escape from my mouth. I tried holding up but failed; I heaved and purged the alcohol in my system. I fell on the ground and everything went black.

I woke up feeling like a hammer was pounding my skull. I sat upright and realized I was somewhere I don’t know. It was already 10:30 am says the clock on the bedside table. I saw a note beside the clock with my name on it so I read it.

> _May advil sa mesa tsaka gatorade. Inumin mo na lang._
> 
> _Kapag okay ka na, i lock mo na lang yung pinto pag labas mo._
> 
> _Goodbye, Goyo. -Ilyong_

I crumpled the paper and threw it on the ground. I stood and went to the door and locked it behind me. I booked a grab to take me home. As soon as I sat inside my ride, I drift off to sleep.

The next morning, I was feeling better. I recalled what happened and realized how stupid I was for drinking to the point of throwing up. But more than that, I felt even more stupid and at the same time hurt with what Ilyong told me. However, out of all the hurtful things he said, I was comforted by the thought of his admission that he loved me. What we have (no,had) mattered to him. The memory of us from 10 years ago came to me. I was reminded how Ilyong and I met; him saving me from drowning in the lake. It was also in that same lake where he taught me how to swim. How we spent idly most of our summer days, jamming, playing Ragnarok and Ran online. But more than that, I remembered how Ilyong was there for me; burning cds, teaching me physics, waiting for me..while I go out and chase every other girl.

_Gago ka nga Goyo_

I stood and went out of my apartment. I tried hard to remember Ilyong’s place. I searched for my trip history and found the location of his condo. Without thinking, I went there immediately.

_I just need to be there. I can think about what to say to him later._

I knocked on the door, praying that he’s inside. I was losing hope when the door opened and he appeared in front of me.

“Goyo?”

“Ilyong, gusto lang kita makausap. Tama ka, gago ako. Di ko pinahalagahan lahat ng ginawa mo para sakin. Di ko nakita yung pagmamahal mo kasi sa iba ko nakatingin. Pero bata pa kasi tayo nun. Hindi ko pa kilala sarili ko, di pa ko sigurado sa nararamdaman ko.Pero ngayon sigurado na ko. Kung hahayaan mo ko, mamahalin kita, ipaparamdam ko sa’yo yung pagmamahal na hindi ko naibigay sayo noon.” I took Ilyong’s hands and bring it to my lips.

We were both alarmed when a voice from the inside called to Ilyong. “Babe? Sino nandyan?”

Ilyong removed his hands from my grip. The owner of the voice now appeared in the doorway.

“Uh...babe, si Goyo, kababata ko.”

It felt as though a flood of cold water had washed over me. I was too stunned to speak. The man beside Ilyong stretched out his hand. I want to take it and break it.

But I didn’t do it.

I stepped back, smiled at Ilyong and said, “I’m sorry I was 10 years late.”

With nothing left to do, I turned around and started walking away.


End file.
